spikenard: Monday Funnies

Monday, February 2, 2009

"Hearing a nun's confession is like being stoned to death with popcorn." --Abp. Fulton Sheen

The Unabridged Serenity Prayer

Prayer of Fragrance

Dear Jesus, help me to spread Your fragrance everywhere I go. Flood my soul with Your spirit and life. Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly, that my life may only be a radiance of Yours. Shine through me, and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel Your presence in my soul. Let them look up and see no longer me, but only Jesus! Stay with me and then I shall begin to shine as you shine, so to shine as to be a light to others; the light, O Jesus will be all from You; none of it will be mine; it will be you, shining on others through me. let me thus praise You the way You love best, by shining on those around me. Let me preach You without preaching, not by words but by my example, by the catching force of the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to You. Amen.

Prayer of St. Bernard

Come, Lord Jesus, take away scandals from your Kingdom, which is my soul, and reign there, You who alone have the right. For greediness comes to claim a throne within me; haughtiness and self-assertion would rule over me; pride would be my king; lust says "I will reign"; ambition, detraction, envy and anger struggle within me for the mastery. I resist as far as I am able; I struggle according as help is given me; I call on my Lord, Jesus; for His sake I defend myself, since I acknowledge myself as wholly His possession. He is my God, Him I proclaim my Lord; I have no other king than my Lord Jesus Christ. Come then, O Lord, and disperse these enemies by Your power, and You shall reign in me, for You are my king and my God. Amen.

Prayer for the Baptism of Aborted Babies

Heavenly Father, Your love is eternal. In Your ocean of love You saved the world through Your only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ. Now look at Your Son on the Cross who is constantly bleeding for love of His people and forgive Your world. Purify and baptize aborted children with the Precious Blood and Water from the Sacred Side of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who hung dead on the Cross for their salvation in the name of the Father, and of the son and of the Holy Spirit. May they, through the Holy Death of Jesus Christ, gain everlasting life, through His wounds be healed and through His Precious Blood be freed; there to rejoice with the Saints in Heaven. Amen. "...Through this prayer large numbers of innocent unborn babies will be saved, pray it daily and make it known to the world. Baptize them with this prayer..." Imprimatur: Bishop Ayo-Maria Atoyebi, O.P. Diocese of Ilorin, Nigeria

Monday, February 2, 2009

Monday Funnies

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