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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Capital Idea!


Michigan has had its share of foul luck in the last few decades and I'm not just talking about the Pussycats....er, uh, I mean, Lions. Looks like the fickle finger of fate has just changed directions however and could be that the pleasant penninsula is poised to make history if the folks on capital hill have their way.

The Obama administration is considering a maximum-security state prison set to close in northeast Michigan as a possible site to house suspected terrorists, Sen. Carl Levin said Sunday. The Standish Maximum Correctional Facility, which has enough room for 600 prisoners and provides the community with roughly 300 jobs, could be one of the locations for a heavily guarded site to hold the 229 suspected al-Qaida, Taliban and foreign fighters now jailed at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp in Cuba.

If the proposed hybrid prison -- a courtroom-within-a-prison complex -- heads to Standish, it could create a boon for a state struggling with a 15.2 percent unemployment rate, the highest in the United States, and an area heavily dependent on corrections for its economy.
So I say, PILE ON! If we're going to do this deal, let's do it up right and trade US capital for car capital. We'll give everyone in the motor city the option to move to DC while we move the seat of the US government over to Detroit. Capital idea! Pentagon could fit nicely in the Ren Cen/Joe Louis/Cobo Hall Compound. Fisher Theater could seat congress. I'm sure there are plenty of abandoned factories and foundries that could house Homeland Security, National Archives, Judicial Branch. Pretty sure there's some nice real estate left in Dearborn for the White House (Old Fairlane Mall?) . Don't knock it, it used to have a people mover.
TOP 10 REASONS WHY WE SHOULD RELOCATE THE CAPITOL OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA TO DETROIT, MI:
1. Surrounded by water on three sides so it is similar to Cuba

2. Is a short trip over to Canada where many of us will be defecting for better health care

3. The painted turtle is the state reptile: an excellent representation for the movement of meaningful bills through congress

4. Already home to government-owned (eh-hem...public-optioned) General Motors so it wouldn't be a stretch

5. Boasts riverboat gambling so that our lawmakers could feel secure knowing that they can gamble with their own money too.

6. Pistons uniforms are already red, white and blue

7. "Michigander" just sounds cool

8. Congress could really get in touch with its roots at Greenfield Village

9. Its motto is already E PLURIBUS UNUM seo we'd save a little money there...

10. There is a "Hell" in Michigan which is where we could send all of the bad politicians or terrorists. I'm sure it would be good for their economy too.

Sooo, here's your invitation for politicians and terrorists alike:
"If you are seeking an amenable (pleasant) peninsula, look around you."

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