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Monday, January 28, 2013

Why I am Silent No More

My Testimony for the 2013 Walk for Life West Coast
January 26, 2013, San Francisco, CA

My name is Karen Williams from Phoenix, AZ.  I was 21 years old when I made the worst decision of my life: to take the life of an innocent, human being.  I bought a product that a previous Supreme Court determined was a safe, effective and legal remedy to a crisis pregnancy.  I now believe I was sold a bill of goods that ended the life of my unborn child, and that severely affected my life, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually for almost 2 decades.

I was a junior at Michigan State University in when I visited the “WomanCare” Planned Parenthood clinic in 1987.  The stunning confirmation of my crisis pregnancy was delivered to me while I stood in a hallway surrounded by strangers.  Life as I knew it, had just changed for the worse.  Through hot, angry tears, I sobbed that I could NOT be pregnant. I would have no part of a baby-limited future.  I was in a disconnected panic.  Confused and alone, I turned to Planned Parenthood—it’s catchy name appealed to some sense of logic in me… “I shall plan my parenthood; they care for women here”.  Abortion was not the ideal, but it was a solution…an easy way out that could be kept secret.  A choice. It all sounded too good to be true.

A very attractive clinic employee clad in business attire assured me that I need not feel afraid or guilty for choosing the product of abortion. She herself was a satisfied customer with a testimony that seemed to indicate gratitude for the ultimate power of being able to control the size and spacing of her family.  This was my final edification. Even though my boyfriend agreed to marry me, I would make the final, fatal decision for our baby. I chose my body, my plan and my convenience over his life. I bought an abortion…but I was never made aware of all of the small print.

So on a bleak January day 25 years ago, I was given a small pill and told to relax. 15 minutes later, my tiny, 10-week old son, his small frame captured on ultrasound only a week earlier, was now a red liquid sitting in a plastic container at the doctor’s feet.

I am reminded often that Abortion is still “good for women”; that it is a solution to the problem of a crisis pregnancy.  That it prevents us from being punished with unwanted children.  Let me tell you that this is a bold-faced lie. I was duped. The sights, sounds and smells of that day in January still haunt me. There was no one around me to advocate for the life of my son; no one to speak for him; to break into his mother’s crisis of the moment.  The choice didn’t really feel like a choice at all.  I wasn’t choosing between Cheerios or Frosted Flakes.  I was in a desperate place and I did what many, young, unsupported, college women do when faced with a desperate situation—I purchased an irrational, illogical and fatal procedure called abortion. And my child paid for this with his life. When a surgical procedure ends the life of any other human being in any other situation, someone usually pays a hefty lawsuit, not to mention faces criminal charges. Will PP pay for my mental health counseling? Will PP pay for all the years that I lost with my child? Will PP restore the life of my family member? Has PP ever been held accountable for the fraudulent services they are selling to unsuspecting “customers”.  Where is the class action lawsuit?  Where is the Amicus brief?  Where was the Supreme Court in protecting Michael’s rights?  

The years following my abortion included inexplicable depression, anxiety, alcoholism, addiction; and divorce. They can all easily be traced back to the death of my child at a PP abortion clinic. I am a living statistic. But thanks be to God and His grace working through people just like you, my story does not end there.

I found miraculous grace, healing and recovery from our Great Physician, Jesus Christ and the Sacraments of His church.  Telling my story, first in the confessional and later to others whom I trusted thrust my secret out of the dark cavity of numbness where I had placed it and into God’s marvelous light where I could find forgiveness and healing.  The dirty little secret of abortion must be exposed for what it is – it is a failure of love; a failure with fatal consequences.

We all deserve better than the lie that is abortion. Women are not in a position to make life and death decisions when they are isolated in a desperate crisis.  What we do need is support and love…real woman care.  I stand before you today to offer my personal experience as a woman who still mourns the loss of her unborn child. Out of love for my son and my obligation to you; the real truth must be told about abortion and its countless victims. Abortion is not a choice, it is a deadly procedure that causes death and multiple casualties. It is a product with lethal consequences. If it were really examined for what it is, there is no package large enough that could contain the disclaimer. There is no law firm stable enough that would defend its claims in court. There is no commercial spot long enough that would adequately explain all of the risks involved.  Abortion is not good for consumers.  It is not good for men, women, families or any member of society.  It must be condemned and banned.

We are our brothers’ keepers.  We are all responsible for creating a just society where the most fundamental rights of our unborn brothers and sisters are protected.  Let us continue to work together to end the killing.  It is my hope that I can be a light and witness to others so that the horror of abortion will exist only as a sad and futile relic of a bygone era in our nation’s history.   And this is why I am Silent No More.

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