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Sunday, May 13, 2012

Momedies


Thanks Mom!  I love you. 


Momedies (home remedies. home comedies...compliments of Mom) 

Brother soiled his underpants on Catalina Island...no worries, remove them and stash them in a nearby mailbox.  Drive away slowly.  (Grandma Phillips, 1964)

Bored? Make a picnic in the dining room and a fort in the living room (mom, 1968)

Gotta go potty real bad at Buick Open...fake a limp to the handicapper porta-john while giggling. (mom, 1993)

There's no hair a little saliva-mousse/bobby pin can't fix---see above picture/age 5  (perpetual mom)

paper dolls...  mom, circa 1970

Spitting out your false teeth to scare the daylights out of Bobby Gardner (Grandma Phillips)

Tolerating a garage talent show with about a dozen neighborhood kids, setting up lawn chairs on the front sidewalk to watch us. (1972)

Rubbing the cramps out of my charlie horses in the middle of the night and then giving me St. Joseph's chewables to make me feel better. (1970s)

Teaching me all of the wonderful nursery rhymes put to music that I taught my own kids

Rocking me to sleep

Making me eat healthy foods

Allowing me to eat junk food--there is absolutely no problem a little chocolate can't make better.

Teaching me words like trump instead of fart which were easily disguised in public

Letting me to turn the garage into: a cheerleading squad practice facility, a bike repair shop, a production studio, a fort, a 4-square competition, a place to hide.

Allowing me to turn the basement into: a miniature house with 6 doll-kids, a restaurant, a dance studio, a trumpet practicing facility, a place to hide.

Letting me have a pink room

Bert Lake vacations

Preventing my early demise by making me wear Babooshkas, red rubber galoshes (the kind you could not put on unless you first put plastic baggies on your feet), 2 layers of mittens and socks, a scarf and a hat.

Knowing that playing in the rain/tunneling in the snow is good therapy

Letting me appreciate the logic of rummage sales.

Understanding that I needed to wear black hockey skates instead of white figure skates

Teaching me manners

Teaching me morals

Paying for band camp, majorette camp, softball/basketball uniforms, Lion's band trips and everything else that I knew you had to sacrifice to afford.

Letting me turn my closet into a Bay City Rollers/Donny Osmund worship space

Solving problems while drying dishes as you washed them. (We did not have a dishwasher)

Teaching me the Lord's Prayer.

Giving me a wonderfully flawed, beautifully human place to begin learning to be me.

Thanks Mom.  I love you always...all ways








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