This recipe for Lapsed-Disgruntled Catholic Pie...
... brought to you by National "Catholic" Reporter:
1 cup of growing disenchantment
1/2 cup of some pronounced unease
3/4 cup of rotting historical illiteracy
1 cup of disillusioned with dogmatic bans
3 teaspoons of outgrown child childhood fantasies about the Real Presence, purgatory, and guardian angels (note: can be substituted with a 1/4 cup of ripe theological ignorance)
4 cups of stale, bitter skepticism
Mix all well in a bowl of ambiguity. Pour into a pan of uncertainly. Heat stove of 150 degrees, the preferred temperature for lukewarm spirituality. Cook for whatever length of time feels good to you. Coat with thin layer of sugary, neo-pantheistic frosting. Serve to readers of National "Catholic" Reporter while in a natural state of discomfort, chanting, "I am Catholic. I am Catholic."
Read entire recipe. My favorite line: "I know now that humans can never penetrate the idea of God; certainty is – and has always been -- an illusion." Hmmm...for someone who doesn't believe in certainty, she certainly sounds very certain about not being certain.